Quite big cat sighted in Taunton

SIGHTINGS of a fairly big cat have been reported by local residents in Somerset.

Eyewitnesses in the market town of Taunton describing the cat as ‘around two feet long’ and ‘more stocky than most cats’.

Local resident Tom Booker took the above photograph, which appears to show a quite large cat in a garden.

Retired welder Booker said: “At first I thought it was just a normal cat. Then I realised it was around a third larger than most of the cats you see around.

“It had fur, paws, a tail and two cat-like ears. I called my wife to have a look but by the time she came downstairs it had gone, clearing a four-foot fence with a single bound.

“I took plaster casts of the footprints, in case experts want to analyse them. But I know what I saw.”

Zoologist Emma Bradford said: “The photo does appear to show a cat-like animal, although it could have been digitally altered so I think it’s too early to get really excited.”

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Trip to conference reveals colleagues are a bunch of freaks

A MAN who spent three days with colleagues outside their normal environment has discovered they are all completely insane.

Administrator Tom Logan attended a sales exhibition in Birmingham during which he discovered his co-workers had hidden depths, but in a mad, terrifying way.

Logan said: “I got a lift with Gary which was a mistake because it turns out he’s in some weird Christian sect who think God wiped out the dinosaurs because they were gay.

“Luckily Jane was also in the car and told us about all these gangsters she knows. One of them’s doing 15 years for cutting off someone’s toe in a barn.

“At the hotel we went for a quick drink, or rather everyone went mad on expenses. I left Malcolm pissing in a lift, which you don’t expect from a 56-year-old who’s into traction engines.

“The next day they all turned up late at our stand apart from Faye, who told me about how she goes to seances. Apparently her spirit guide is a Native American shaman called Wild Pigeon.

“ The weirdest bit was when the sales manager decided he was a big shot in Nando’s and sent back a perfectly normal chicken burger three times.

“What’s worrying is they don’t realise they’re mental. Even Helen, who fractured a knuckle punching a tree in the car park.”