Scientists demand urgent action to stop extinction of pub pool tables

PUB pool tables are at risk of becoming an endangered species, experts have warned.

New research has revealed that pub pool table numbers have plummeted from over two million in 1981 to a mere 485 today.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “The pool table’s natural habitat, a manky little room at the rear of the pub, is being destroyed by ‘restaurantism’ – the trend where pubs basically become brightly-lit family eateries that serve beer as an afterthought.

“If this continues the pool table could be driven to extinction, or worse still end up being played only in weird American-themed games warehouses where they also do ‘ten-pin bowling’ and ‘nachos’.”

Pub naturalist Susan Traherne owns a breeding pair of pool tables with which she hopes to repopulate the pubs in her local area.

She said: “There can be few sights more majestic than a pool table with fully intact baize and a large stack of 50ps next to the centre pocket.

“Even if everyone disagrees about the actual rules and then has a fight in the car park.”