Starfish washes up on beach and gets carried around in dog’s mouth

A DEAD starfish has washed up on a Norfolk beach, where it is being carried around by a dog.

Less than a week after a whale washed up on its shore, the corpse of a beige hand-sized starfish was discovered by walkers who have been unable to get it back off their dog.

36-year-old dog owner Martin Bishop said: “The star is as much a miracle of nature as a whale, and when they expire you want them to have dignity in death, or at least not to get carried around by a labrador.”

Bishop’s dog Ranger is thus far refusing to give up the echinoderm’s remains.

He said: “He lets me get almost near enough to grab it, then whips it away and runs off with his tail wagging.

“It’s all a game to him but I just feel that starfish somehow deserves better.”

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Men spend most of lives imagining they are manager of favourite football team with an unlimited budget

MEN spend 60 per cent of their lives daydreaming about managing their favourite football team with unlimited money to spend on players, it has emerged.

Researchers at the Institute for Studies found that men spend up to 14 hours per day imagining they are an unrealistically powerful football manager.

Kitchen designer Tom Logan said: “In my mind I am Swindon Town Manager with half a billion in fifties on my desk. Lukaku, Bony, Cahill and Fabregas, they’d be the first through the door.

“I’d bring in that woman who got sacked by Chelsea as the physio and I’d hire my mate Martin as assistant manager.

“It’s what occupies my brain while I am sat at my computer, talking to customers or at a restaurant with my wife.”

Staring blankly at his monitor, he continued:  “We’d play five across the middle and one up front but the playmaker would have to get in close to the forward at all times.

“I’d take them all the way to the Champions League Final and they’ll name the new stand the ‘Tom Logan’s End’ and they’d have a statue of me outside the ground of me lifting the Premier League trophy.”

He added: “I often get my best football manager ideas while at funerals.”