THE Pope has officially proclaimed that God did not intend anyone to eat savoury pancakes.
The papal brief, issued by the Vatican this morning, explicitly says that the consumption of tomatoes, ham, chickpeas or goat’s cheese on a pancake is a mortal sin.
The Pope said: “Lemon and sugar, all these are holy, and golden syrup, and the syrup of the maple tree.
“And let it be known that those who favour honey, Nutella or even blueberries if you absolutely must have committed no crime against the goodness of the Lord.
“But the man who leavens his pancake with mushrooms, with ricotta or with broccoli is an abomination in God’s sight, and must beg His mercy or burn forever in the lake of fire.”
Catholic Mary Fisher said: “I knew everyone else was unclean and I was absolutely and indisputably right all along.
“It’s great being a Catholic.”