Sunny weather fills local park with dickheads

THE recent sunny weather has lead to a sharp increase in dickheads going to the park.

Researchers found that dickheads chose to go to the park, not to enjoy the sunshine and fresh air, but to annoy normal people as much as possible.

Non-dickhead Tom Booker said: “Me and my mates kicked a ball round a bit, had a beer, a little barbecue. It was really nice.”

But dickhead Martin Bishop said: “I went to the park with my dog, Rizla. He’s nuts so I like to let him off the lead and then scream after him everywhere he goes.

“I also like to smoke weed, play Gabba music off my phone and attempt to start conversations with strangers in a way that they will find incredibly intimidating.”

Julian Cook, a man lacking in self-awareness, added: “I like to play my acoustic guitar in the park on sunny days. Does that make me a dickhead?”