NAMBY-PAMBY liberals say you should sit down with your kids and discuss climate change. Here Wayne Hayes explains how he’s teaching them the truth, not eco-fascist lies.
It’s just weather
Kids understand that the weather varies, but explain high temperatures in terms that make sense to a child: tell them if we didn’t have lovely toasty global warming they’d have to stay indoors all the time and never see their friends, or the family dog would freeze solid and his head would snap off.
Don’t scare them
Children are impressionable and dwell on things, so discuss climate change in a calm, unworried way. Explain that the evil climate scientists can’t hurt them, and if one comes to your house you’ll splatter their brains everywhere with a hammer. You don’t want them to have nightmares.
Eco-activists hate progress
Children should understand the motivation of green campaigners – they’re psychopaths who hate modern society. Ask if they want to live in a world with no day trips because cars are banned. Or live in a freezing hut with no lighting, TV or computer games. Or if they want to die from massive pus-filled sores because greens hate modern medicine. They’ll soon develop a healthy scepticism about global warming.
Make learning fun
You can’t expect small children to absorb a scientific lecture, however well-informed you are. Turn it into a game, for example, you read out a statement like ‘Climate change could soon become irreversible’ and whoever shouts out ‘LIE!’ first wins a sweet.
Scientists disagree about climate change
Despite what greens say, scientists disagree about climate change. You’ve probably got your own examples, but I recommend Dr Duane T. Phipps of The Christian University Institute of Alabama who’s got a PhD and a web page about climate lies. Okay, his PhD is in sport science, and he thinks climate scientists are paedophile Devil-worshippers, but he’s still a top scientist.
Get the right educational resources
I’d recommend YouTube clips of Julia Hartley-Brewer, articles by Daily Mail intellectual Melanie Phillips, interviews with Nigel Lawson, the tweets of Jacob Rees-Mogg, and the words of Britain’s greatest politician, Nigel Farage. Make your kids study them for at least an hour a day and they’ll soon be more than capable of rebutting the lies of their Marxist teachers.
