HOUSEHOLDERS have been warned against feeding urban foxes as the animals are fussy and claim to have intolerances.
Unlike their rural counterparts which will eat rotting magpie carcasses, metropolitan foxes are all on fad diets.
Urban fox Wayne Hayes said: “This woman left me out a bowl of milk – probably not even organic – seemingly unaware that I drink only espresso made with single-estate beans.
“Food provenance is very important to me, and I won’t touch any meat scraps that aren’t locally sourced. And I can’t have grains, they bloat me.
“Also I’m doing paleo right now.
“Probably the best thing is to let me into your house so I can have a good look through your cupboards before getting you to cook something suitable, if that is possible with the available ingredients.
“If not I may send you down to the local deli with a list.”
Mother-of-two Emma Bradford said: “Cull them.”