THE standard price for a milkshake, regardless of size or quality, is now five f**king pounds.
The inflation-busting rise began when upmarket burger chains started offering luxurious thick milkshakes blending cream, ice-cream and fancy sauce, continued through the unholy ‘freakshake’ trend, and now applies uniformly to any milkshake sold anywhere.
Regular drinker Emma Bradford said: “Ingredients: milk, flavouring, ice cream if you’re lucky and 30 seconds of a bored chef holding down a blender’s ‘on’ button. Mark-up: about 900 per cent.
“Who does a small cafe in the Peak District think they’re f**king fooling? They’re not offering five quid’s worth of milkshake. They’re offering the same semi-skimmed-and-Crusha they’ve always sold.
“Milkshakes are not an inherently luxury item. Putting crushed Lotus Biscoff in them does not make them opulent. It just makes them impossible to drink with a straw.
“Of course there’s always McDonald’s, where they cost £2.29. God knows what they’re made from, though. Watered-down paint, maybe?”
