By deputy office manager Norman Steele
MAN was weak and girly and work in office where he bullied by woman, but now him strong. Him have meat. Him have barbecue.
Man plan barbecue many days. Man hunt sausages and burgers in Asda. Him even find steak. “How much you spend?” say wife of man. “Not that much,” him say. Him not mention luxury coleslaw.
Barbecue take many hour to prepare. Charcoal heavy but man strong. Even cooking temperature hard to achieve but man wise and put firelighters in right places.
Many people come to barbecue. Man take charge of meat. Man feel powerful. Man tell jokes. Man flirt with woman of other man and wife annoyed. Man not care. Him strong.
Man in charge of what go on barbecue. Him feel like leader of tribe. Him SHOULD be leader of tribe. Him going to ask for promotion at work. Him will. It not just the Becks talking.
Other man at barbecue, Gar-Eth, have barbecue fortnight ago. But Gar-Eth barbecue small disposable one. Him only serve very cheap sausages. Man have defeated Gar-Eth.
Man feel proud of barbecue. In head him soar like eagle, and have leftovers can go in fridge.