A COUPLE who pride themselves on buying fruit and vegetables grown locally eat only cabbages for eight months of the year.
Eleanor and Michael Shaw from Bedfordshire believe in letting everyone know that their fresh produce has zero air miles and even less taste.
Eleanor said: “We let nature choose our tasting menu. Unfortunately nature has a fairly shit imagination so it’s mainly coarse vegetable matter that needs to be stewed for hours in order to be suitable for non-bovine teeth.
“Importing food isn’t a sustainable or ethical way to live, plus I think on a holistic level it makes sense to consume foods that grew in as depressing a climate as you live in”.
Michael Shaw added: “We like supporting local farmers because that way we can avoid labelling that might clarify what the hell kind of soiled leaf we’re buying.
“In the summer we eat like kings, for the rest of the year, we add a lot of tabasco to mask the overwhelming cabbageyness of it all.
“We’re all about farm-to-table, or as we say on a particularly cabbage-heavy month, farm-to-sod-it-let’s-go-to-McDonalds.”