RINGS of fried dough have begun behaving as if they are expensive gourmet desserts because they have icing and crushed biscuits on top.
Doughnuts are the latest humble snack to be needlessly embellished upon so they can be sold to idiotic millennials for almost a tenner.
Food critic Hannah Tomlinson said: “Doughnuts used to be the food of the working man, filled with jam and consumed by the five-pack as God intended.
“But now? Thay’re gone fancy. All salted caramel and glazes, a Frankenstein’s monster too awkward to eat with crumbly bits on top, coming individually packaged in pretentious little cardboard boxes like they’re a hat your nan would wear at a wedding.
“We’d accepted Krispy Kreme as an American novelty occasionally bought for a laugh, but when you can find at least three glitter-iced doughnuts with cringeworthy pun-inspired names within a five-metre radius of you in any city centre, it’s gone too far.”
Grace Wood-Morris said, while eating a handcrafted ‘Do-nut Worry Darling’ Hollywood-themed doughnut: “It won’t last. Like freakshakes, our town centres will fill with their vendors who will just as quickly go bust.
“Doughnuts will soon go back to being shit, the only legacy of this heady time that they’ll still cost £6.50 each.”