Friday, 6th December 2019

Karma's a bitch, say kids who loved Turkey Twizzlers

A GENERATION who were robbed of deliciously unhealthy school meals by Jamie Oliver have told him that what goes around comes around. 

Anyone who attended school in the 00s, when the chef’s campaign for healthy school meals deprived them of food that not only tasted great but was exotically shaped, believes the collapse of his restaurant group to be a balancing of the cosmic scales.

Carolyn Ryan of Doncaster said: “He’s lost millions. But I lost one of the only things that made my schooldays bearable, so I still say it was worse for me.

“It wasn’t just the Twizzlers. They stopped our nuggets, our pies, our endless chips. Just because some fat-tongued twat decided he needed a new angle for his TV shows.

“They made us have vegetables, but do dinner ladies know how to cook veg Jamie? Do they? Deep-frying was the limit of their skills. It was an atrocity.

“So no, I’m not sad that his poncey fake Italian restaurants have gone bust because the less he can inflict what he thinks is acceptable food to eat on the masses, the better.

“I’ll celebrate by going to Greggs, as I do every lunchtime, for a steak bake and a bottle of Fanta.