A WOMAN who always assumed she would be a Nigella-grade baker if she only had the time has discovered during lockdown that this is a lie.
Furloughed worker Emma Bradford said: “I couldn’t wait to post smug, pseudo-modest pictures of my sourdough loaves online and exchange tips on how to get the most amazing banana bread.
“In fact, I’d already gone so far as to set up an Instagram page called ‘Emma’s Yummy Lockdown Bakes’.
“Unfortunately it hasn’t quite worked out so far. I made one cake but it looked so awful I had to pretend to my family that the dog had savaged it.
“Then I made a loaf that was so flat it looked like pitta bread. I put that on Facebook and someone commented kindly that baking was super hard right now without yeast.
“The thing is, I had yeast. So essentially, I’ve got the ingredients. I’ve got the time. I just don’t have any talent.”