Friday, 22nd January 2021

Man eats six-pack of substantial meals for lunch

A MAN has bought a six-pack of substantial meals to enjoy during his 40-minute lunch break. 

The substantial meals, each of which comprises a boiled egg encased in breadcrumbs and sausage meat suitable for accompanying a pint in a tier 2 pub, will be consumed by Nathan Muir over the course of a single mealtime.

Seemingly oblivious to the fact that he planned to eat two days’ worth of food in less than an hour, Muir said: “Well it’s all they had in the garage. And let me tell you after a morning of plastering they’re barely touching the sides.

“Perhaps six is too many. Normally I’d have four and a grab bag of Flamin’ Hot Monster Munch, but I’ve got heartburn.

“With a beer? Yeah, they’re nice to wash down with a beer. Six beers? Steady on mate. I’m only halfway through my shift. And you don’t want to be on the eggs during a session. The flatulence would be apocalyptic.

“Substantial? So what’s a Ginsters Scotch Egg Bar? Enough to feed a family of four?”

While driving home later today Muir will consume a further two substantial meals at the wheel of his van.