Sunday, 1st November 2020

Massive f**king takeaway ruins romantic evening

A COUPLE’S plans for a romantic evening were left in tatters after they both ingested an inadvisable amount of curry.

Nathan and Emma Muir had to drastically alter their expectations for their monthly date night after sharing a meal from a local Indian restaurant intended for six people.

Nathan Muir said: “We’d planned to watch a romantic movie after dinner, followed by an early night. Unfortunately, I blacked out sometime around my third helping of lamb bhuna. I think I need to go and have a cry in a dark room.”

Emma Muir said: “We sent the kids off to my parents and I’d bought some new lingerie and everything. But after that dinner, if we’d had sex I’d have vomited half-digested saag paneer all over him.

“And that is only partly to do with the way he smells after eating nine onion bhajis, a pot of lime pickle and half a garlic chicken.”