Mum puts kids' dinners straight in bin to save time

A MUM has started putting her children’s dinners directly into the bin to save a whole load of fucking time and effort.

Mother-of-two Emma Bradford decided it was much easier to dispose of her lovingly prepared meals right away, rather than have a three-hour row with her family about it first.

She said: “I’ve had enough of serving up delicious home-cooked meals only for my children to behave as if I’ve done an actual shit on their plates.

“It used to take two hours just to get my three-year-old to eat one single pea and I once had to pay my son a tenner to lick a cottage pie. It was getting ridiculous.   

“But since I started serving their food straight into the bin, there’ve been no more arguments. And once they realise they’re starving they’re soon rummaging through the bin for something to eat.

“I’m slightly concerned about germs but it’s worth it for stress-free dinner times. We love our ‘bin dinners’.”

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AFTER consuming large amounts of alcohol it’s not always easy to tell exactly how shitfaced you are. Find out where you are on the ‘pissedness scale’ with our scientific guide.

You are quite talkative

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You are talking absolute bollocks

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You are definitely in with a chance with that very attractive random stranger

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If you stop concentrating your mouth hangs open

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