SOME food packaging is more impenetrable than Fort Knox. Here are ones you will always humiliatingly fail at trying to open.
The manufacturers of every single fast-food ketchup sachet have one wish – that you never actually get to have ketchup with your food. If you dream of enjoying your chips with some delicious ketchup, prepare to impotently wrestle with the ‘tear here’ on a small pouch of sauce for upwards of five minutes.
Small children’s motor-skills are f**king useless, so a small sack of juice was a recipe for disaster. Trying to puncture a Capri-Sun using their flaccid excuse for a straw would invariably end with you bursting the thing and dousing your school jumper in orange juice.
Certain brands of milk still come with a sort of plastic-foil cover under the lid – because some people just can’t let the past go. These seem to have been welded to the bottle with no intention of them ever being removed.
What’s so infuriating about trying to open jars is that 99 per cent of the time they’re piss-easy to open. However, on other occasions you almost dislocate your elbow trying to prise open the marmalade. Soon, any men in the area will gather as they battle to prove their masculinity.
All ‘Peel here’ tabs
You’ll have seen the small tab at the corner of the packet marked ‘Peel here’ and thought ‘Oh great, I can’t wait for the straightforward bacon rasher-opening experience that awaits me.’ Instead you just grapple pathetically with the packet before looking for some scissors while the rest of your fry-up burns.