A NEW study of veganism has discovered that adherents of plant-based diets do not discuss them when restricted to only other vegans for company.
Vegans, who are renowned for being able to turn conversation on subjects ranging from The Traitors to air mattresses to the Nicene Creed into conversations about veganism, are markedly less keen to discuss veganism when everyone is one.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “After the deafening initial 45 seconds it took for all parties to tell each other they were vegans, conversation really dipped.
“A couple haltingly continued outlining the tenets and benefits of veganism until their interlocutors said ‘Yeah I know thanks, I’m vegan’ and it all ground to a halt.
“They tried to discuss normal things, using a list of topics we’d written on a whiteboard to help them along, but two minutes into a chat about the Lake District one said ‘Of course factory farming is worse then genocide,’ and they rushed to agree then lapsed into silence.
“After an hour a few had managed basic chats about their jobs, marital situations and hobbies, as you would with a foreign penfriend, but they weren’t happy. You could see it wasn’t what they want to talk about.”
He added: “Two hours in, one muttered ‘Does anyone else miss cheese?’ Nobody replied.”
