A WOMAN erroneously believes her various food allergies are evidence of what a truly fascinating character she has.
Nikki Hollis is allergic to wheat, gluten, nuts and, she hopes, if tests come back positive, dairy. These allergies, she believes, cause her to be a rarified and exquisitely sensitive soul, somehow or other.
Hollis said: “Yes, it’s true that at any social gathering, regardless of the topic – football, global warming, politics, Love Island, a bereavement – I will as quickly as possible find a way to bring the topic round to my growing collection of food allergies.
“But it’s not that I’m showing off. I feel I need to share my allergies with ordinary, some would say boring, people, who do not realise the profoundly life-changing journey I have been on.
“I’m not looking for sympathy. My allergies don’t cause me constant pain, nausea and exhaustion. Sometimes they’re quite subtle, such as a slight hardening of my stools when I eat non-gluten-free bread. That counts.
“You should check your stools after consuming different food types. It might be that you have an undiagnosed high level of interestingness, like me.”
Emma Bradford, Hollis’s oldest friend said: “I’ve known Nikki for ages but recently I’ve developed an allergy to her allergies that makes me want to force-feed her peanuts. Funny how allergies can just suddenly come on.”
