Woman saves time on baking by just begging people to like her

A WOMAN has saved hours a week she used to spend on baking by just going around begging people to like her, she has revealed.

Emma Bradford, 33, arrives at all social occasions with a batch of cupcakes she claims to have ‘whipped up for fun’, when in fact they are a byproduct of her crippling self-loathing.

She explained: “I’ve been telling everyone I’m a keen amateur baker and that they’re doing me a favour by trying my recipes, but the obvious truth is that I’m desperate for approval.

“But at a works do I found myself without my shield of baked goods and instead stammered ‘Please like me, I’m so afraid of being unpopular’ and it worked just as well with a lot less measuring and mixing and shit.

“I was trapped on the lonely road that leads to Bake-Off, making a doomed attempt to win validation from the entire nation because I was bullied a bit at school, but I’ve found a quicker way to boost my self-esteem.

“I’m taking back control of my life and will stop trying to win affection with cakes. From now on, I’m doing that with pleading.

“And hand-knitted gifts for special friends, just to make sure.”