A MAN from Batley has been given a substantial fine for cutting his bacon butty in a manner unbecoming of a Yorkshireman.
Plumber Norman Steele, 46, was today ordered to pay £600 with 120 hours of community service by a court in Halifax, with the judge describing it as ‘the worst case of a Yorkshireman getting funny ideas I have ever seen’.
Steele’s crime was discovered by his wife when she found him in the kitchen, not under the influence of alcohol or drugs, delicately slicing a sandwich from corner to corner.
Wife Barbara said: “I felt sick. His normal butty is a huge doorstep drowned in ketchup and eaten whole, but this was poncey wholemeal bread arranged neatly on a plate. I could tell it wasn’t the first diagonal sandwich he’d made.
“In all our years of marriage he’s been hiding a creative, sensitive side. I should have realised his head had been turned by fancy Southern ways when he wanted mayonnaise on his chips instead of gravy.
“I feel like such a fool. I’ve moved in with my parents while the divorce goes through.”
Judge Mary Fisher said: “Mr. Steele exhibited a blatant disregard for the bluff, tiresome ways of God’s Own County.
“However I rejected a custodial sentence because I believe Mr Steele was genuine in his desire to make a fresh start in life and not move on to more serious crimes such as focaccia with olives.”