You spread out the f**king toppings, pizza manufacturers told

BRITONS have lashed out at pizza manufacturers who tell them to spread out the toppings themselves, which is clearly not their responsibility.

Purchasers of supermarket pizzas are kicking back against being told to distribute pepperoni, mozzarella and other items on a product they assumed would be finished.

Pizza-eater Tom Logan said: “Every pizza I buy comes with the caveat ‘Make sure toppings are spread evenly’. Well f**k you.

“I wouldn’t buy a car with a handbook that says ‘Remember to attach a steering wheel’, so I don’t see why these lazy bastard pizza-makers should get away with it.” 

Stonebaked pizza aficionado Nikki Hollis agreed: “They’re taking the piss. Sorry, pizza makers, but some of us don’t have a trained Italian chef on hand to finish making your products. 

“I forgot to rearrange the toppings once and all the pepperoni was too close to the middle. Obviously I had to chuck it in the bin because I’m not feeding my kids that.”

Supermarket pizza-maker Martin Bishop said: “We don’t spread the toppings evenly because we can’t be arsed, and knock off at 1pm every day to smoke weed.”

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