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He Promised To Oil My Chain, Claims Abused Bike

THE bicycle at the centre of Britain's worst case of inanimate object abuse has told how she was offered treats including expensive chain-oil, a new bell and a dynamo.

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Bikini-Clad Lovelies To Protect Airports

SQUADS of bikini-clad women are to be positioned outside airports in a bid to deter fanatical Islamic terrorists.

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