UNDER a proposed 1% pay rise, experienced NHS nurses could pocket a whopping £3.50 every single week. Here’s what they could blow their massive windfall on.
A Boots meal deal
Our NHS heroes deserve to eat like kings, and now they can, once a week. With £3.50, lifesaving workers can feast on a flavourless egg and cress sandwich, a packet of Quavers, and an Innocent smoothie that looks like it’s part of the deal but isn’t and will push the overall cost up to £4.
Half a pint well outside London
When they’re off-duty, NHS workers can pop to a British Legion outside the M25 and splash their cash on a half-pint of beer. If they’re lucky enough to get 50p in their change they can treat themselves to a quick game of pool too. Talk about the life of Riley!
Lots of 5p carrier bags
The hassle of remembering a reusable bag is a thing of the past for our plucky NHS staff. £3.50 can buy shitloads of cheap plastic carriers, so expect to see nurses skipping to work with dozens of them proudly swinging on their arms as a status symbol.
A moderately fancy coffee
Not anything large or with cream and marshmallows though. And anything seasonal with a syrup shot is a bit beyond the £3.50 budget too. But thanks to their generous pay rise, NHS workers can go crazy with a basic hot drink very similar to what you make at home.
A parking space at their job
Once the crisis is over NHS workers will probably have to pay for hospital car parking again, but now they can almost cover the cost of a single day’s expenditure. So if you see nurses jumping with joy today, this is probably why.