All things now healthy and unhealthy at the same time

EVERY possible lifestyle choice is simultaneously good and bad for you, it has been confirmed.

After it was claimed that being overweight can help prevent dementia, doctors confirmed that eating vegetables, exercise and even smoking similarly exist in a quantum state of being both right and wrong.

Doctor Mary Fisher said: “Being fat is good for the mind but bad for the organs. I guess you can’t have one without the other, so I would recommend eating chips and I would also not recommend eating chips.

“Doing running makes you more toned, but you might have a heart attack. So again, that one’s up to you.

“Smoking makes you die a slow and lingering death, but on the other hand it does help with stress which is the Western world’s biggest killer. And so on and so forth.”

She added: “Basically just do what you want.

“You’ll get to about 75 or 80 and then you will die.”