Wednesday, 12th August 2020

Cutest babies the worst sleepers, scientists confirm

ADORABLE babies wake up screaming far more frequently and loudly than their uglier peers, researchers have found. 

A study of more than a thousand babies up to six months found that the cute ones who get cooed over by strangers are also the ones who make their parents’ lives an utter hell.

Dr Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “This is fantastic news for those parents who have birthed children who look like extras from the Mos Eisley cantina. Plus they’ll probably grow out of it.

“Unfortunately, if you’ve got a newborn who could crawl onto a Huggies ad tomorrow, say goodbye to getting more than an hour’s sleep at a time. They’ll be looking up at you with those big bewitching eyes at 3am for years.

“We believe that this is nature’s way of preventing the parents of babies who do not sleep from giving them to a travelling circus, selling them on eBay or simply handing them to relatives then running away.”

Mother Emma Bradford said: “My six-month-old is just captivating with lovely curls, mesmerising eyes and perfect little cheeks.

“I haven’t slept since November. I’d swap him for a pig in a basket tomorrow.”