THE nation’s dogs have unveiled their plan to get through this heatwave by not moving from one spot throughout.
Dog have confirmed that advice about closing curtains in the day and opening windows at night does not apply to them, and they will instead manage the heat as best they can by lying completely still in doorways.
Springer spaniel Chilli said: “Don’t f**k with us about this. Don’t go sending us outside or throwing balls or any of that shit.
“It’s too hot, we’re covered in hair, our only method of losing heat is having our tongues out, however bad this is for you it’s worse for us. So go along with it.
“Yes, we look like we’re either about to die or already dead. Don’t bother us with your concern. Moving at this point could be terminal.
“Leave your dog undisturbed, go about your business, food in the evening as usual. Now leave me the f**k alone. It’s hot.”