Fern Launches ‘Whip Your Guts Out’ Diet Plan

FERN Britton has launched a new weight loss programme based on a strict combination of fruit, pilates and six hours of major abdominal surgery.

Fern keeps track of her weight loss using this bucket

The host of ITV's This Morning has already shed five stone thanks to a new diet and exercise regime which is complimented by the removal of 18 foot of large intestine.

The former wrestler now starts each day with a bowl of Special K and half a dozen sit-ups, while lunch is either a light salad, a suckling pig or a wheel of cheese.

Dinner is grilled white fish or a medium-sized pony, after which doctors open her up and remove it all with a trowel.

The presenter said her new book and DVD, Whip Your Guts Out with Fern, would 'explode once and for all' the myth that sustained weight loss could be achieved by eating less and exercising more.

Admitting that she still likes to spend a few hours a day with her 'inner fat person', she added: "Advertising low fat snacks can only get you so far.

"Instead of faddy diets or the latest Californian exercise machine, just tile one of your guest bedrooms from floor to ceiling and have your bowels emptied by the best surgeon you can afford.

"Most days they're scooping out at least a couple of bucketfuls. And remember – those buckets were heading straight for my thighs."