A MAN who spent his youth taking ecstasy is finding it impossible to reach the same levels of bliss by going to the gym, he has confirmed.
Tom Booker, aged 44, was told that running would make him feel as euphoric as double-dropping pills used to, but has instead found himself on a treadmill in Croydon.
He said: “I’m too middle-aged for E. Last time I was up I found myself raving about the new city centre John Lewis in Birmingham. It wasn’t cool.
“There’s coke, but you’re paying large sums just to pretend you’re not boring, and drinking gives me such brutal hangover anxiety I want to hide in my airing cupboard for two days.
“Apparently the endorphins produced by running make you feel as fucked off your face as actual drugs, though that hasn’t been my experience so far.
“I feel sick, my knees are wobbly and I want to sit down and have a good cry. That’s not the high. That’s the comedown.”
Personal trainer Carolyn Ryan said: “Honestly, I can’t imagine a more intense feeling of ecstasy than on my sunrise runs.
“Drugs? No, I’ve never taken drugs.”