Man quits exercise for good after realising no-one else gives a shit

A MAN has stopped working out after realising no-one gives a tuppenny toss about how long he spends at the gym.

Nathan Muir, from Bristol, made sure his Facebook friends knew when he ‘checked in’ to Virgin Active, but 24 hours later it became clear that absolutely no-one cared in the slightest.

He said: “It’s very strange because I even included hashtags of all the different squats I had been doing.

“And yet, complete silence.”

He added: “And when I went to the pub and told my fiends about my exercise regime, they all told me to ‘shut the fuck up, right now’ and then called me a ‘dreary ponce’.

“There’s really no point in continuing unless someone somewhere is impressed. Instead I shall take up sailing and tell all my Facebook friends about my weekend sailing adventures.

“People will think that’s good.”