‘Glowing’ pregnant woman feels like hell on earth

A PREGNANT woman complimented for her healthy glow is actually sweating cobs and exhausted, she has confirmed.

34-year-old Mary Fisher has been pregnant for seven months and only felt ‘glowing’ for a single hour in May after accidentally drinking a glass of red wine.

Fisher said: “If I’m glowing, it’s only in the same way that uranium does.

“I appreciate the compliments but please. I’ve looked in the mirror. Every single bit of me is swollen, my hair is mental and I’m dressed like the hated lovechild of David Bowie and Pat Butcher.

“Being pregnant is like a nine-month hangover. I’m as nauseous, dehydrated and exhausted as on any Saturday morning after a session, but without the session.

“Oh. And I do not need extra body heat right now, so touch my stomach and I will slap your hand away.”