Hedgerows taste better than kale, say people who eat a lot of kale

A PLATEFUL of shrubbery tastes nicer than the ‘superfood’ kale, according to people who eat a large amount of kale.

Unheard of just five years ago, kale is regarded by many nutritionists to be as essential as water to a balanced and healthy diet.

However, kale consumers have admitted that it tastes very nasty but they will have to continue eating it until it becomes unfashionable.

Nikki Hollis said: “I’ve been forcing this filth down my throat for two years. It’s two-fifty a bag. I could have got the same results by investing in a pair of shears.

“There are cows laughing at us for eating this stuff.”

Tom Booker added: “I’ve started using it as an insult. I was at party last week and got stuck talking to this arrogant, humourless prick. On the way home I said to my wife ‘that guy was totally kale’.

“When we got home we ate a load of kale.”