THE operator of Britain’s only privately-run NHS hospital has admitted that it is struggling to make enough money out of human misery.
Bosses at the healthcare business are baffled that serious injuries, life-threatening conditions and age-related dementia have not been the goldmines everyone expected them to be.
Senior executive Tom Logan said: “When I see someone wheezing along clutching a drip, their body unable to fight off infection, I naturally think ‘Ker-ching!’, so a hospital full of them was a licence to print money.
“But it turns out that you’re not allowed to demand they hand over their life savings or house before you give with the good drugs, and that there are absolutely loads of diseases that can’t be efficiently cured with one injection and an overnight stay.
“What are people in healthcare for? Because if they’re helping people and alleviating suffering without making a mint out of it, I think that’s sick.”