Internet to cover for junior doctors during strike

ANYONE feeling ill during the doctors’ strike has been advised to just look it up on a computer.

Officials said that Googling your symptoms is equally as effective and your computer has more experience than most junior medics and is nowhere near as tired.

A department of health spokesman said: “Persistent vomiting and dizzy symptoms? Just tap the words into your search engine and you’ll get thousands of results. There’s bound to be something helpful in that lot.

“A worrying growth? YouTube will show you a fast and easy way of cutting it off that’s hardly painful at all, as long as you do exactly as they say.

“Or you could go to a New Age website. Rub crocus on it. That’ll probably help. Nature’s good.”

The spokesman added: “Most illness is all the mind. You don’t need some angry little doctor to tell you that.”