DOCTORS should be taxed every time they open their fat, smug, overpaid mouths, it was claimed last night.
People across Britain said the money could be reinvested in the NHS and used to pay for nice foreign doctors who just treat you instead of making you feel like Adolf Eichmann every time you fancy a Star Bar.
As the British Medical Association called for the systematic annihilation of the country's entire population of Creme Eggs, consumers said it was time to take the UK's doctors by the heels and shake them while at the same time ignoring their calls for a ban on being held upside down.
Bill McKay, a slightly overweight shop owner from Harrogate, said: "If I take my car to the garage and the mechanic tells me that low quality motor oil should be banned my immediate reaction is tell him to shut his fucking face and fix my bloody car because that's all he's paid to do and if I want his overpriced opinions I'll fucking ask for them.
"But that doesn't happen because the British Mechanics Association isn't filled to the brim with arrogant, self-regarding pricks who think they own your body and prescribe whatever pills the computer tells them to."
He added: "There's two ways we can do this. Either we can tax them for every statement they make calling for something to be taxed, or we can take 75% of the hundred and fifty grand they've conned out of the government for spending an extra year at university."
Emma Bradford, a primary school teacher from Bristol, said: "I suppose I've brought this on myself because you see, I don't know what butter is and so I just keep piling it onto my Weetabix until Nigella Lawson tells me to stop."