Kids with e-cigarettes getting bullied

SCHOOLCHILDREN smoking vapour-based cigarettes are being mocked by their peers, it has emerged.

As TV advertising raises concerns about children using electronic cigarettes, 12-year-old Stephen Malley described getting a kicking after attempting to smoke one with the popular kids behind his school’s science block.

“Normal fags make me cough until I puke so e-cigarettes seemed the logical way to go in terms of impressing girls with my worldliness.

“But everyone immediately took the piss, calling me a ‘battery sucker’ and ‘prickotine’. The main school bully held the e-cigarette above his head, just out of my reach, before lobbing it into a garden.

“Then I got a moderate kicking in front of a girl I like.

“As I see it the moral of the story is ‘smoke real fags’.”

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Roy Hodgson unhappy with severed limbs on Wembley pitch

ENGLAND manager Roy Hodgson has complained about the human body parts littering Wembley after yesterday’s NFL game. 

The contest between Dallas Cowboys and Jacksonville Jaguars, which killed 16 players and injured more than 200 spectators, has left the pitch strewn with human debris ahead of Saturday’s game against Slovenia.

Hodgson said: “A few arms we could cope with. But when I pulled one half-buried leg out of the centre circle it turned out still to be attached to quarterback Tony Romo, who had been buried alive in a complex offensive play.

“Even without oxygen for 12 hours his intense will to win remained, and he tore up half the pitch dragging his broken body to the touchdown area.”