A GROWING number of unbearable arseholes believe that the pandemic devastating the world is ‘here to help us learn something about ourselves’.
Mind-bogglingly self-centred wankers convinced that COVID-19 is a ‘wake-up call’ are sharing views from across all spectrums of bellend.
Carolyn Ryan, a yoga teacher from Bristol, said: “This whole virus thing has forced people to slow down and think about what’s important in life. Like yoga.
“I think it’ll make everyone anti-consumerist, more spiritual, it’ll make them realise we’re all one species and that stretching is important. Which kind of makes the pandemic worth it.”
But Norman Steele of Eastbourne said: “I think the lesson the world will learn from this is that foreigners are unclean, the borders should be closed, bring back the death penalty and subjugate Ireland. I can’t see how you’d think anything else.”
Historian Dr Helen Archer said: “There are only two logical explanations for the whirligig of disaster humanity finds itself in at any given time: bad luck and cock-ups.
“The main takeaway from all this is that some people should not be allowed access to the internet.”