Man admits Pot Noodle is just awful but refuses to stop

A MAN has confirmed that Pot Noodles are manky and he will not stop eating them.

Tom Booker told friends that he was more than aware of the nutritional contents of his Pot Noodle but that ‘life is a runaway train with no time for haute cuisine’.

Booker said: “Do you know how long it takes to boil vegetables? Who has that kind of time on their hands?

“A Pot Noodle will suffice as long as it’s paired with a large can of energy drink.

“Got no time in life to mess around, you see?”

He added: “In completely unrelated news, I recently racked up my 500th hour on Football Manager 2015.”

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Scientists discover couple caught in endless ‘I don’t mind, you decide’ loop

A COUPLE are at risk of starving to death after becoming tangled in an ‘infinite non-decision loop’ over what to have for dinner.

Scientists detected the endless loop last Tuesday when Emma Logan asked husband Tom what he fancied to eat, leading to both insisting they really, really did not mind.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Since then the two have gone back and forth in person and over email completely failing to make any sort of decision but wishing the other would.”

Emma said: “I almost broke the cycle when I suggested we could ring out, but then we got caught up in what to have and it was back to square one. I think I heard a faint whooshing sound as the loop reconfigured itself.”

Tom Logan added: “I’ve been grazing from the fridge while she makes her sodding mind up.”