Tuesday, 4th August 2020

Man pretending to enjoy cigar

A MAN is doing his level best to convince onlookers he is enjoying smoking a cigar. 

Stephen Malley stepped outside to smoke the Cuban robusto along with other wedding guests and is doing his absolute utmost to feign pleasure at the experience. 

He said: “This is great, like in The Godfather. Apart from the smell. 

“I mean it really fucking stinks. What is it they put in cigarettes? Formaldehyde and whatever? If it stops them tasting like this it can’t be bad. 

“And it massively hurts my throat. Are you supposed to inhale it? I tried and now I can only taste pain.

“At least it looks great, though. When the girls see how powerfully masculine I am with this big cigar they’ll flip their shit.”

Fellow guest Emma Bradford said: “They were all out there for 40 minutes with these massive cigars, then spent an hour coughing hackingly into napkins. Hilarious. We’re going to make them have Guinnesses next.”