Never having to do PE again is best part of being an adult

A WOMAN who often despairs at the state of the world finds comfort in the fact that she never has to do PE again.

Sarah Bishop, 31, regularly worries about nuclear war, the dismantling of the NHS and air pollution, but eases her anxities by reminding herself that being forced to play hockey with teenage psychopaths is now firmly in the past.

Bishop said: “The world is going to shit and I have to spend every day doing a job I hate with people I want to punch, but it all floats away like when I remember that I don’t have to be smashed in the face with a netball anymore.

“By comparison, experiencing the world sliding into an endless right wing nightmare is actually less harrowing. Theresa May might want to make me poor, ill and scared of foreigners but at least she won’t make me do a cross country run.”

A Conservative spokesman said: “Cross country running will be mandatory for everyone.”