Nights drawing in now, say grans

IT WILL soon be dark in the evenings again, according to Britain’s grandmothers.

Old people the length and breadth of the land have urged relatives to wrap up warm because the days are getting shorter and winter will be here before you know it. 

Eleanor Shaw, 76, said: “Well, that’s another summer gone. Time to draw the curtains, sit almost directly on top of a radiator and whack the central heating up as high as it will go.

“Look at you young people running around without so much as a scarf. You won’t be laughing when the icy winds of August give you the potentially fatal flu.”

26-year old Tom Booker said: “My nan’s put her clocks back already, and she’ll have her Christmas decorations up by the end of the month.

“She keeps repeating the phrase ‘winter is coming’, like a character from Game of Thrones.”

Booker’s nan, Maisie, said: “Well, winter is coming. I also think we should burn them, burn them all.”