NECKING vitamin and mineral supplements will do bugger all to make up for your terrible lifestyle choices, doctors have confirmed.
No matter how expensive, organic or difficult to swallow, they will never be able to offset all the other crap you pile into your body on a daily basis.
Dr Julian Cook said: “Whatever the packaging claims, medically speaking taking supplements is about as much use as believing unicorns will come and magic you into health.
“You can bosh as many milk thistle tablets as you like but they will do precisely f**k all to combat the fact that you have spent the last 25 years systematically destroying your liver down the pub.
“And taking garlic pills on a daily basis won’t dissolve the cholesterol that has built up around your heart after living on a diet of Greggs and Pot Noodles that you have belatedly realised doesn’t count as ‘varied’.
“In fact, the only proven effect of vitamin supplements is to burn a massive hole in your bank balance. Twenty quid for a small pot of cranberry pills? It’s less painful to live with the cystitis.”