CHILDHOOD obesity is not as serious an issue as all the knobheads droning about how it proves Britain has gone to the dogs, experts believe.
Researchers have found that fat kids are far less damaging to society than the adults who cannot see them without barking self-righteously about videogames or benefits claimants or whatever.
Dr Mary Fisher said: “Overweight children break a few chairs, sure, but there aren’t that many of them.
“Whereas the bores sapping your will to live with incessant rants about children not being allowed to go out and play nowadays because of ‘health and safety’ number in the tens of thousands.
“These hateful compassion-voids really want to bully the playground fatty directly but can’t, so instead they claim that it’s some new phenomenon of modern life like Billy Bunter never happened.
“They need to be put on an immediate diet of shutting the fuck up, coupled with a course of exercising their brains enough to recognise the garbage spewing out of their mouths.”
Fisher added: “The fat kids will probably lose the weight later. Besides, it’s funny watching them try to do sport.”