THE monster formerly known as ‘Honey Monster’ has changed his name after beating his sugar addiction.
After 40 years blighted by bouts of heavy honey consumption, ‘Monster’ has dropped the word ‘Honey’ from his name to signify a new start.
He said: “Honey nearly killed me, it made me a bad person. That monster is gone now. I’m a different, less bloated monster.
“I have a whole new friendship group that isn’t into sugary things. They’re more spiritual and they love me for who I am.
“I know I can’t be around sugary cereal, even a single Cheerio could set me off, but that’s okay because now I do yoga and meditation at breakfast time.”
Monster added: “We all saw what happened to Coco the Coco Pops monkey, by the end he was pulling tricks by the side of the road for a bowl of the good stuff.
“Snap, Crackle and Pop are all in rehab and don’t get me started on Tony the Tiger and what happened in that Travelodge, he’s not even eligible for parole until 2020.”