SINGLE people prefer to avoid kale and other bullshit vegetables, according to a new study.
Studies showed that they also leave the fat on their bacon and were unaware that grab bags of crisps could be partially eaten and closed with a clothes peg.
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “When I was single for 18 months the only green food I ever ate was jelly babies. It was brilliant.
“Sure, I enjoy the support and companionship of a long-term relationship, but now if I leave some bread and peanut butter next to the bed for when I get peckish, I get my head bitten off.”
Many single people said they would be more willing to eat healthier under the right set of circumstances, such as every takeaway in Britain simultaneously burning to the ground.
Professor Brubaker said: “Do they still make Findus Crispy Pancakes? Shit, I miss those.”