Sleep still interfering with smartphone use

PERIODS of recuperative rest are still an obstacle to unlimited mobile phone usage, it has emerged.

Researchers found that even increasingly bright smartphone screens and louder, almost incessant bleeping are not enough to compel humanity to completely forego sleep.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “It’s worrying that physical fatigue is still overcoming our basic need for constant hand-held entertainment.

“When you are asleep you could be missing out on vital social media updates, but an evolutionary flaw means it is difficult to overcome fatigue indefinitely even if you have a massive coffee at midnight.

“Hopefully it will soon be standard for phones and tablets to give their owner a powerful electric shock if they are left unused for more than 20 minutes.”

Trainee teacher Emma Bradford said: “I often find myself asleep during the night, when I would rather be lying on my side staring at celebrity news on a small glowing screen.

“Last night for example I fell asleep at 2am after a marathon WhatsApp chat, and by the time I woke up I had entirely missed a meme featuring a sassy gerbil stuck in a Wellington boot.”

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Paris incredibly beautiful, confirm experts

PARIS is just amazing and if you have not been there you should definitely go, it has been confirmed.

Experts said the city was a monument to civilisation and was graced with architecture that will make your heart soar.

Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, said: “You can view some of the greatest art in human history, art that symbolises our faltering progress towards a truly civilised world, and then you can eat a meal that you’ll wish could last forever.”

He added: “If aliens ever visit the earth, Paris is one of the first places you would want to show them.

“You’d say to them, ‘I imagine that on your home planet you’ve got some pretty spectacular cities, but I’m sure you’ll agree, this one’s a bit special’.

“And the aliens would agree and they’d go for a walk along the Seine and talk about giving up their jobs on the spaceship for a couple of years and just live in a little flat in Paris.

“Because it’s amazing.”