Smoker stops fannying about with ridiculous ‘vaping’

A SMOKER has stopped messing around with ‘e-cigarettes’ and gone back to the real thing.

32-year-old Nikki Hollis admits she wasted three years of her smoking life by fiddling about with fruit-flavoured mist.

She said: “I bought an expensive vape and learned to distinguish between ‘Funky Melon’ and ‘Midnight Cherry’ flavours, but I was living a lie. You can’t smoke liquid, the very idea is insane.

“Being back on the fags feels like coming home. I’m back up to 30 a day now, including one as soon as I wake up.

“There’s no way lung disease will get me before the actions of Donald Trump do.”

She added: “After such a long break, the day’s first fag actually gives me a ‘body buzz’ again. Remember that? It’s a wonderful, dizzy feeling.”