Teenage boy suddenly fan of workout that makes him smell like burnt leaves

A TEENAGE boy is regularly heading outside to partake in some mysterious exercise that makes him smell like burnt leaves, his parents have confirmed.

Before the lockdown Tom Logan had previously spent his time hanging around in parks with people his parents do not approve of, but now the couple have expressed relief that he is finally showing some interest in a wholesome activity.

Logan’s mother Penny said: “Since we’ve been locked down Tom has been very focused on his health. He’s going out every day for exercise and appears to be sweating so much it’s making his eyes red.

“Whatever sport he’s taken up is doing wonders for his endorphins and appetite, as he usually returns home giggling and then helps himself to six slices of toast.

“I’m not sure why this new exercise makes him smell like bonfires, but it’s great that he appears to be able to do it in his Tame Impala hoodie and jeans.

“I’m just happy he’s not out smoking pot on a street corner somewhere.”

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'Lack of time' not reason woman can't bake

A WOMAN who always assumed she would be a Nigella-grade baker if she only had the time has discovered during lockdown that this is a lie.

Furloughed worker Emma Bradford said: “I couldn’t wait to post smug, pseudo-modest pictures of my sourdough loaves online and exchange tips on how to get the most amazing banana bread.

“In fact, I’d already gone so far as to set up an Instagram page called ‘Emma’s Yummy Lockdown Bakes’.

“Unfortunately it hasn’t quite worked out so far. I made one cake but it looked so awful I had to pretend to my family that the dog had savaged it.

“Then I made a loaf that was so flat it looked like pitta bread. I put that on Facebook and someone commented kindly that baking was super hard right now without yeast.

“The thing is, I had yeast. So essentially, I’ve got the ingredients. I’ve got the time. I just don’t have any talent.”