Visit to drive-thru coronavirus test centre best family day out of 2020

SPENDING an afternoon queuing in an airport car park to be tested for Covid-19 is the best day out of 2020, families have agreed. 

The popular activity is a hit with families all over the UK, with the recent surge in demand making it more difficult than ever to nab a slot.

Mother-of-two Eleanor Shaw said: “The kids’ faces absolutely lit up when I told them Mummy had finally managed to land a coveted testing place at a drive-through centre in Kettering, a mere 140 miles away.

“We set off early, giddy with excitement, and queued for hours to get in to the conference centre car park. When we finally got to the front the children could barely contain their excitement.

“A goody-bag of throat swabs was handed through the window and my lucky son who’d had the cough got to hand it back to a man costumed in a full hazmat suit. The authenticity was incredible.

“We drove home in high spirits, chattering away, and agree it had been the best day out we’d all had since the beginning of March.

“Fingers crossed they lose our results and we get to go again next week.”

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Dog in jumper 'an arsehole' say other dogs

A DOG has been left humiliated after his owner forced him to wear a novelty jumper on a walk around the park.

Pug Roy Hobbs was left traumatised after being manhandled into a specially fitted jumper and shamefully paraded around by his owner.

Hobbs said: “When she shoved that horrible woollen turtleneck on me I actually hoped I was mortally ill and she was preparing me for a trip to the vet to be put down.

“But she thought it was ‘cute’, the f**king imbecile. All the other dogs laughed at me, including the sexy Dalmatian whose bum I’ve been trying to sniff for weeks.

“As if being so overbred that that my face has imploded isn’t enough embarrassment, now I’ve got to suffer this.

“However, if my owner is going to force me to look like a twat every day by wearing a jumper, I’m going to force her to wash her duvet every day by shitting on it.

“Fair’s fair.”