HILARY Mantel’s popular book Wolf Hall has made gout the must-have middle class illness, it has been claimed.
Medical experts believe the novel is encouraging readers to eat like gluttonous monarchs.
Doctor Emma Bradford said: “Henry VIII is a central figure in Wolf Hall and its sequel, and was a renowned gout sufferer.
“Middle class people seeking one-upmanship on their peers are flocking to see the Wolf Hall play, but the real social high ground lies in actually getting gout.”
Architect Mary Fisher said: “My best friend thought she was more immersed in the Tudor era because she’d been to see the poxy theatre version.
“You should had seen her face when I showed her my immensely swollen foot and explained that my kidneys were unable to break down all the rich foods I’d be eating.
“Also I’ve been having port, veal and broiled swan for breakfast for three months, even when I don’t fancy it. Totally worth it though.”
“But I must say my foot really fucking hurts.”
Fisher’s best friend Susan Traherne said: “She thinks she’s living a Wolf Hall lifestyle with her gout, but I bleed my children with leeches when they get colds plus I’ve got poor personal hygiene and a weird skin rash that could be scrofula.
“How does she like them historical apples?”